When nothing goes right, go left.

the first half of the day went by smoothly. & then came the second half of the day. everything just started to go up & down. firstly, i couldn't find the courage to speak up to my bushuk when she was right infront of me. we had some sort of disagreements & arguements a few days back. but im glad that i eventually apologised to her. i couldn't take it any longer. it felt so different when we didn't talk & avoid each other. she cried on my shoulder & that was also the first time i saw her cry. i would never wish to have another quarell with anymore.
once that was settled, i went up to the band. they were having their stomp practise while waiting for their SYF results. & which they said, they themselves did pretty well & deserve a silver. so, the moment i picked up the pair drumsticks on the floor & to the moment i struck the sticks on the snares, i felt a feeling i haven't felt for a very long time. beating on the drums with passion, playing along side your peers who has grown together with you through out the last few years & basically having fun.. that was what i've been missing. then when it was time for the syf results to be announced, the band sat in one big circle. for awhile, i felt like i was still a part of the family. but then i came to realise.. no, it wasn't right for me to sit with them in the circle. as they waited & waited, i could see the anxiety on their faces as they waited patiently. for one of them, it was hard to face the fact that the band might get nothing close to a silver. but being the person i am, i went up to her, and i said ''no matter what the outcome is, you know you've tried your best. you should never think that it is the end if you don't get what you want. it's not what you get, it's the sweat, tears & the sacrifices you had to make, to get this far.''
& then came the results. the leader of the band, was the first to know about it. & she broke down in tears when she get to know the band clinched a bronze. yes, bronze was what they never wanted. they wanted more than that, a silver. but sometimes you have face it, you can't ask for too much. nevertheless, i am so proud of the band. i wish i was still a part of them. sometimes, i look back & i appreciate what i've gone through with the band. & band will always be kept in my book of memories & i would always be willing to share the story of this band & tell them about the lovely people in it to anyone.

Alot like friends

i've been busy with school.
lessons are hard to understand. & it sucks when the rest of the class knows what their doing except for me cause i haven't been paying attention last year. it's hard to catch up. especially Maths. whatmore, i have to accept the fact that i must pass Maths to get to sec 5, which is a killer. but im willing to do whatever it takes. even if it means that i have to stay back everyday to study, revise & just do more work which fyi, i have been doing it already. it kinda suck in a way cause i dont get to spend time with Jeni in the afternoon like i always do. but she completely understands my situation. & i appreciate it alot. but nevertheless, i would still try my best to spend time with her.

I sat & I thought.

for all my years of living, i never realised this one mistake that maybe, i've been doing alot. for what i did or for what i've gone through, it may have some impact or a big impact to myself. but i've never came realise what a bigger impact it might have done to someone else.

i don't wish to elaborate further. it just brings a sad part of my past.

Dear bushuk,

I am sorry for what I have done. I might be wrong but you can’t blame me.
You see, the world won’t move to the beat of just one drum.
What may be right for you, may not be right for some.
So I’m writing this letter to say how sorry I am.
To make it up to you, you can spend an hour in heaven with me.
(you know, I know.hehehe)

Yours truly,
Shmelly.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

i had fun with Mike, Ahmad & Farris ealier. we went swimming at Jurong. we were like flippin people out of their floats on purpose & pretended it was on accident. we're mean & we're foolish. i met Ainiciner there & we had a little chat catching up with things that have been going on in our lives.

ah, imma finish up my homework tmrw afternoon.
imma watch a movie with my family this Saturday. & my family's not gonna adopt a cat anytime soon. we have to fix a gate or something so that the cat won't go out & some other cat-ish things. like a place for it to shit. then, we could adopt the cat. i wonder what we're gonna name the cat.

i miss my pinoy lady very much :)

i havent started doing my holiday homework. lazy & i'll do it later in the week.

today is Farris's 16th Birthday. wow, we've been friends for 10 years.

its kinda unbelievable. imma meet him & the rest later on.

& aliff is coming too. aaah, the troublemaker. i missed him man.

From Me To You

_00000000000____
_____00_________
_____00_________
_____00_________
_____00_________
_____00_________
_00000000000____

__00____________
__00____________
__00____________
__00____________
__00____________
__00____________
__00000000000___
____000000______
__0000000000____
_000______000___
_00________00___
_00________00___
_000______000___
__0000000000____
____000000______
_00_________00__
__00_______00___
___00_____00____
____00___00_____
_____00_00______
_____00000______
______000_______
__000000000000__
__00____________
__00____________
__00000000______
__00____________
__00____________
__000000000000__

_00_________00__
_00_________00__
_00_________00__
_00_________00__
__00_______00___
__00000000000___
____0000000_____

first things first, hello earth-lings!

there will be a new addition to my family. so there's me, my mum, dad, brother, brother's gf & the other one will come really soon. the last one will be very special cause it isn't a human. its got claws like lions, roars like tiger & breathes out fire like dragons. what is it? ok, maybe im over-exaggerating it. the newest member of my family will be a pet cat. the whole family has agreed to this & we'll adopt it next week. i hope my parents won't change their mind. it's been ages since we took care of cats. we love cats.

my CA results has proven that i have improved in my studies. but just because i got 7th in class, im not gonna slack around & hope that i can pass my N. i gotta continue working hard.
if you say you want to work hard, then mean what you say. don't just talk like you're fucking confident & then you give up half-way. you might as well have said that all you talk about is crap & bullshit.

I don't know what the future holds for us.

but I know my feeling for you is so true & strong.

I LOVE YOU.

From your soft gentle touch to your lovely smile to your loving heart.

I'll be there for you when the world seems to be too much.

Sunny side up

my days have been great & it could never get better. i am learning with every single lesson & im proud of myself. a modelling agency called me earlier in the week, asking me to come down for an interview. & im kinda speechless. a question of 'to go or not to go?'. well, im just gonna take my time thinking about it.

Have you ever felt the world slowing down while you're with her? when all you can hear is the breath & the beats of her heart pounding agaisnt your chest while you gazed deep into her dark brown eyes. & for one whole minute, it was only you & her in the world, nobody else. & you just know that, that moment was the moment you can't have with anybody else but her. & when her lips caresses yours, you feel like your soul was jumping out from your skin in delight. it's what i call the ultimate moment. & in that moment you'll have a feeling that you'd live & die for. a feeling that you'd kill & save for. a feeling that i can never have with anyone other than her.

Somewhere over the rainbow

a few things have been happening in my life lately. firstly, my favourite beloved teacher, Mdm Fatimah, had her birthday a few days back & we celebrated it with her, buying for her a cake. next, my classmates just can't live with one another. in other words, conflicts & verbal fights are happening every now & then. thirdly, the school is a mess. fourth, i have just cultivated reading into my daily life. and last but certainly not the least, Jenica is the sweetest.